I'd Hate to See the Low-Lights

A highlight from the weekend excursion to my parent's house.

"Every time Dad laughs, God kills a puppy."

Wait... what?

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Georgia, Meet George

With myriad quotes coming from the White House to the tune of "in this day and age you can't just invade a sovereign nation with a democratically-elected leader", I can't help but wonder if the Russian actions in Georgia are simply intended to make prominent Republicans look stupid.

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Can I Just Sacrifice a Miata or Something?

So I figured out why the traffic gods hate me.

A little background:

Every morning I pull out of the apartment complex and onto Lindbergh and immediately exit onto Olive to head over to 170. Every morning this week, Olive has been backed up all the way to Lindbergh (presumably all the way from 170), which has incited me to stay on Lindbergh and then take Manchester over. This alternate route is generally about five or ten minutes longer, but it's a better route when there's a lot of traffic on Olive or 170 (it's the way I take to go home, because at 5pm, the Galleria is open and Brentwood/170 is a zoo). I've been under the assumption that they're working somewhere on Olive and have a lane closed and that it would eventually clear up. Like, after a day or two. But it's been all week.

Yesterday was the worst. I got stuck in the left-turn lane at Lindbergh and Clayton and couldn't get out of it--only I couldn't see that I was in it because it looks like they've redone that intersection and I was behind a cement mixer. Then I sat through three lights getting onto Manchester, and a thirty-minute commute that's normally a twenty minute commute became a forty-five minute commute. Then on the way home I got stuck behind an accident on Manchester and my normally thirty-minute return commute took me an hour.

I was sitting still, parked, on Manchester in front of a Starbucks for something like five minutes, so I pulled off the road and went in for a chai.

Add to all this the fact that gas prices jumped by nearly twenty cents yesterday, and the only conclusion I could come to was that there were simply more people driving than usual. But that didn't make any sense--why would that many people just start driving at 7:30 in the morning at the end of August?

If you've figured it out at this point, congrats, you're smarter than I am.

This morning, I was relieved to see that Olive wasn't backed up all the way to Lindbergh, so I took that exit only to discover that it was, in fact, backed up all the way to just-before-Lindbergh. But I was committed to it, so I sat it out, and I'd finally have a chance to see what all this supposed construction was about. But there was not construction, and about half-way to 170, the congestion cleared and the streets opened up. It was surreal. But the other direction was jammed--the other direction that was all free and clear at the other end of Olive. It was like all of these people were on their way at 7:30 to some arbitrary location right smack in the middle of Olivette.

And then it occurred to me. It hit me right in the forehead. Summer's over. Duh.

There literally are more people driving in the middle of Olivette at 7:30, and they're going to schoo. First of all, the buses are running, and parents are dropping off their children, and the next batch of newly-licensed juniors and seniors is starting to drive themselves to school. And, perhaps less-obvious but of potentially significant impact, nobody's taking vacations. Throughout the summer there's a percentage of people who just aren't on the road because they're somewhere else.

The downside to all this? It's not going to clear up until December, and then it will start up again and go until May. So, the long story shortened: the traffic gods still hate me, just not quite as arbitrarily as I'd assumed.

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In News of the Awesome...

Aaron Sorkin is working on a movie about Facebook.

You read that right.

And coming soon for the Wii, Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball.

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Godel Geek Humor

I feel the need to share this with someone, and it's too late at night--all my nerd friends are asleep. Here's the latest xkcd comic:

This is hilarious. Would you like to know why?

Kurt Godel was a mathematician who was famous for his incompleteness theorems. He proved essentially that in any system of any degree of complexity, there will be things that are true but not provable. One of the oldest in mathematics is Goldbach's conjecture: that any even number can be expressed as the sum of two prime numbers. True. Unprovable.

Godel's theorem was based on what's known as the liar's paradox, which is easily expressed in this statement: "This statement is false." If the statement is true, then it must be false, but if it's false, then it must be true. Such a statement can't exist within the understanding of truth.

Let's expand the logic slightly. Suppose you wanted to make a list of all true statements. Then I would posit the statement "Something not on this list is true". If that statement is on the list, then either the statement is false and doesn't belong, or the list must be incomplete. But if the statement is not on the list, then the statement is true, and the list is incomplete. That's the crux of Godel's proof, and yes, yes it is one of those hey-you're-cheating type of arguments, but the logic holds up.

Knowing that, re-read the comic and laugh the deep, hearty laugh of the irrepressibly nerdy.

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Who's Going to Watch the Watchmen?

I finished reading Watchmen last night, and I'm suddenly quite nervous about the film. The trailer was epic and enticing and featured a bitchin' song, but now that I know the story, I'm perplexed.

Because the graphic novel is not epic. It's layered, it's multi-faceted, it's complex, it's gritty. It's not epic.

Which is not to say that the film will suck. But I'm concerned.

First, Zack Snyder does not impress me as a director. I really didn't care for 300 all that much. For all the pomp and vim and homo-erotic undertones, the thing that really, truly bothered me was that it claimed to be rooted in realism (like, you know, the graphic novel was) but came off in the end as quite cartoony. Some things I can overlook, like the over-the-top depiction of Xerxes. Others I can't--like a whole diatribe about how a phalanx works, only to completely abandon that fighting style when the actual, you know, fighting starts, in lieu of every-man-for-himself bravado.

But, regardless of my feelings for the film, certain things about 300 did work. The graphic novel was about an epic battle, and a sweeping, grand, epic style was appropriate for the film. Nothing about the film was subtle, so it didn't matter that David Wenham was belting out lines from behind his eyepatch and Speedo. You don't go to 300 for the nuance. But 300 seems to be Snyder's qualification for directing Watchmen, and Watchmen is a completely different animal. The thematic elements are much more rooted in moral relativity versus absolutism and the human-ness of costumed heroes. So, perhaps a bit of subtlety and nuance is appropriate. But consider that trailer.

Every damn frame of the trailer is in slow-motion. Rorschach with his homemade flamethrower was a tense, fast-paced, brawl in the book, not a slow, grand, epic, fast-paced brawl. There's a scene in the trailer in which Dr. Manhattan is split into three copies of himself, all in the same room. This happens exactly once in the book, and it happens when he has a fight with his girlfriend. Why should this be slow and grand? It needs to be tense and hostile.

Then there's the fact that the movie is cast almost entirely with B-listers (if not C and D-listers). With the possible exception of Billy Crudup, but his character is a hulking blue computer graphic for 95% of the film. Well, Patrick Wilson is moving into leading rolls now, but he's not exactly on the tip of everyone's tongue, now is he? I'm not saying they should have cast Brad Pitt, but the fact that I'm having to look up people to find out what they've been in before does not inspire confidence. These are supposed to be complex people with complex motivations and relationships. You need a solid actor for that.

The cast also feels young--particularly the actors playing Ozymandias and Silk Spectre--arguably the two most important characters to the story. The main story takes place when they are retired, middle-aged. These actors are both 30 and could pass for 25 in a pinch. Now, that may be part of the plan, since the story has a lot of flashbacks in it, so, as above, it's not a deal-breaker, but it does not inspire confidence.

The costumes have been modernized to look a bit more... well, hero-ish? Perhaps Spandex is the wrong direction, but take a look at Nite Owl. In the book, he's an awkward, pear-shaped man who manages to transform into a pear-shaped but surprisingly effective hero. But the filmic rendition seems to be going for pure bad-ass. So the whole Nite-Owl/Silk-Spectre/Dr. Manhattan dynamic that is so central to the plot is going to be eschewed for... bad-assery?

All of this brings me back to my central concern. It looks like Zack Snyder has every intention of giving this film the complete 300 treatment. But the problem with 300 was that, for all it's religious adherence to visual style, it abandoned the soul of the work. Furthermore, what worked in 300 probably won't work here. 300 was a gore-fest on paper, remarkable for it's brutal depiction of a historical event--it was almost bereft of dialogue. Watchmen is much more literary. Besides being the only graphic novel to ever win a Hugo award, it contains an incredible amount (for a comic) of novel-style writing. Pages of it in every chapter. It gives the world and the characters depth, and all that back-story will not be available to the audience, so it is up to the director and the actors to convince us that it still exists. And I have seen no evidence that they are up to the task.

I hope I'm wrong. Come March, I'd much rather be able to say "that was awesome" than "I told you so."

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New Songs "In Love", "Polly Amry"

I've got a couple new songs posted over at the Kurt and Chuck Fuzz Page. One of them is In Love, an older song that I recently put together a decent recording of. The other is genuinely new and has not even been demo'd before. It's called Polly Amry and it's about a guy who gets into an open relationship but can't control his jealousy. It's fun.

Both are free to stream or download.

Enjoy,
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Who's it Gonna Vee?

So Obama is getting ready to announce his running mate. I'm betting that it's not Joe Biden. If only because Obama-and-Biden sounds and awful lot like Osama bin Laden. That those are the kind of superficial things that dictate elections.

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NINe INch Nails at Scottrade Center

Nine Inch Nails. I love their music. And by "their" I meant "Trent's" of course. But I think I speak on behalf of NIN fans everywhere when I say this:

We're getting too old for this.

Closer was released in 1994, and it first ushered the band into the mainstream public consciousness and propelled Trent Reznor to his demi-god status as official spokesman for youthful angst. Now fast forward fourteen years to present day. I'm 28, and that's young-ish for a die hard NIN-fan. And I'm not nearly as angsty as I was at 14 and 15. Nor, so much, youthful. I'm definitely older and more sedate. And I'm not alone, even the dressed-up aging goth-kids were very polite. But in all seriousness, there comes a time when you just can't scream out "Hey pig, piggy pig, pig, pig" with a straight face. And that time seems to be somewhere between 25 and 28, if my concert-going experience is any indication.

I also must admit that I wasn't quite sure what to expect from this show. Depending on how you count it, Nine Inch Nails have put out between 3 and 6 albums of new material since the last North American tour, including the juggernaut Year Zero and it's somewhat-less-impressive follow-up The Slip, as well as a 4-part instrumental opus called Ghosts that features 36 tracks, none of which anyone bothered to title.

Seriously, you can't call out "#24" for the band to play. It just doesn't work. Who'd have thunk (why did the spellchecker not catch "thunk"?) that Trent Reznor would be an attendee of the Dave Matthews school of song-titling. I say that, but then, DMB's #41 is a favorite of mine.

I digress.

This was the closest I've ever been to the stage for a major show--having purchased floor tickets through the fan club. And note to self: I wore my steel-toed boots thinking of toe-protection. Turned out to not matter, and standing for 4 hours in boots is MURDER on the feet. Next time, I'm wearing tennies. Toes be damned.

The show kicked off with, I kid you not, half of The Slip, with March of the Pigs thrown in for good measure. It was a hard rocking mini-set in which every single song began with drums. At that point, I must confess disappointment. There was a swirly light board in the back, and it was all very big and boisterous, but it wasn't very showy, and there wasn't much in the way of crowd pleasing.

At last, the front-most of the three semi-translucent video screens descended and band members came out to the front and did some Year Zero material while back-lit. Now we're talking. This was much more typical of NIN, and it brings to light an interesting point. Nine Inch Nails shows are much more of a visual spectacle that happens to have some performers in it. That said, you don't gain a whole lot by being twenty feet from the stage. Trent plays to the cheap seats. His light show was at least as sophisticated as the one at Tool's show last fall, but at least his band engaged the audience. They also had a bit more fun with the lights than Tool. During Only, Trent was behind a wall of static that would part and follow him around. Once in a while he would grab the "hole" in the "static" and fling it to one side of the stage. So, yes, this was, in fact, choreographed within an inch of its life. During the encore, Josh Freese walked up to a series of boxes on the light board at the front, and as he touched them they would turn red and would play either a kick or snare hit and repeat. He built up the pattern until it became the drum line for Echoplex.

So, after The Great Destroyer in front of the light board, the band re-assembled behind it for a few tracks from Ghosts. Moving the various light boards around created some great 3-D effects, and there were some interesting vistas playing during the Ghosts songs. This went on while the band played odd instruments--there was a double-bass, a banjo, some interesting tuned percussion. Josh Freese had chimes, a timpani, some tuned pipes, and a kit constructed from jugs and various hardware store items.

I felt conflicted. It was cool, it was conceptual, it was artsy and far-reaching. It just wasn't all that interesting. I'm as much a fan of high-concept folksy art-metal as the next guy. Probably moreso, come to think of it. But part of me just kept screaming "We get it, Trent, you're a genius, now step away from the marimba!" When Aaron would put down his banjo to pick up a guitar, I couldn't help but wonder if he was leaning over to Alessandro and asking "What did we get ourselves into?"

Finally Piggy started, signaling that we had left the land of stuff-I'm-promoting and ventured squarely into stuff-the-audience-wants-to-hear territory. And let me tell you, you've never heard Piggy until you've heard it on a double-bass and ukelele.

The usual suspects made an appearance. Head Like a Hole and Terrible Lie from Pretty Hate Machine, the latter being an absolute staple. Of course there were Pinion and Wish from Broken, and also Gave Up, which was a pleasant surprise. It got a pretty respectable showing, considering it's only got 8 songs on it. Closer made the set list (I have no idea how the band can stand to play this song anymore, but kudos for being good sports about it) including the now-common throwback to The Only Time during the break-down. Also from The Downward Spiral were Hurt, the aforementioned songs about pigs, and Reptile, which is a personal favorite of mine. Year Zero got a handful, including God Given, which made the encore, and Survivalism, which involved a video screens of mock surveillance cameras.

Several of them were pointed at bathrooms.

And then a couple started having sex in one of them.

It was slightly off-putting, which was, I guess, the point. It certainly wasn't the most gratuitous sex scene I've ever witnessed, but it wasn't any chore to figure out what they were doing, either. During the second chorus they finished and left the bathroom. It brought to bear the whole invasion-of-privacy (to the extent that sex in a public loo can be considered "private") thing, but still...

Anywho.

Sadly, The Fragile didn't get much love (neither did With Teeth, for that matter, but I find that to be less tragic), with the band only playing The Frail, The Wretched, and The Big Come Down. Oh well.

The show closed with In This Twilight, which was appropriate enough, although Trent played some strains from Zero Sum as the band was making it's final exit. I would have liked to sing along with that. I can just imagine a stadium full of people all singing that chorus.

Shame on us, doomed from the start
May God have mercy on our dirty little hearts
Shame on us, for all we have done
And all we ever were, just zeros and ones.

Still, it was a good show, and a long show, and I'm glad I went, and I'll likely go next time.

I just sort of wonder where NIN and it's ever-aging fanbase is going to go from here. Trent's putting out music at break-neck pace, now that he's label-free, and selling it for stupidly low prices (downloads of The Slip were free, all 36 tracks of Ghosts could be dl'd for like $5). But the aesthetic has been virtually identacle on everything since With Teeth, settling into a format that sounds much more like a 5-piece band than the industrial weirdness that defined NIN's early career, or the 80's-pop blip-inspired anger that definded their even-earlier career. Time will tell. And I'll be listening. For a while anyway.

But next time I'll get a seat.

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It's Pronounced Moh-HAH-Vee!

Have you seen the ads for Microsoft's "Mojave Experiment"? Unsuspecting users are asked what they think about Windows Vista and then are given a computer to futz around with. They ask how they think this computer compares to what they've heard about Vista and they invariably say that it seems much more solid and usable. And then the surprise--it is Vista! You were using it just now and liked it. Aren't you surprised?

The point of the ads is supposed to be that the negative hype is unwarranted and that it actually is a good system and if you used it without knowing it, you'd agree. I think the point is well made--Vista is not without its drawbacks, but it's not quite the brick that people claim it is.

But I have to take issue with the ads on principle. How sad is it when your best advertising recourse is to trick people into realizing that your product doesn't really suck after all?

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Is it a Bank or a Snake?

So, Bank of America regularly sends me e-mails about ways they can make my banking easier. Today they sent an e-mail telling me how simple it is to sign up for online bill-pay and pay my bills online. And they're right, it is easy and convenient. Which is why I've been signed up since 2003.

Yeah.

I realize that there's a fine line between "helping" and "pestering"... actually, I take that back. It's not a very fine line at all. It's a broad freaking line. And guess which side you've landed on BoA!

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Do They Make Misfortune Cookies?

Why the local Chinese restaurant feels the need to include 2 fortune cookies (and no pepper--seriously, folks) with a single order of vegetable fried rice is flipping beyond me. But, as an eater of said cookies, I suppose I can't complain too much for getting an extra. Today's second cookie included 2 fortunes in it, which means for the price of an order of fried rice I got three times the fortune of a typical eater of Chinese foods. In America.

Did you know that fortune cookies are unique to the Western world? They were invented by Chinese immigrants in California. The cookie is actually a Japanese-style cookie. And yes, everything else you know or thought you knew is a lie.

Digression.

So these are my three fortunes:

• A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed.
• A pleasant surprise is in store for you soon.
• Do not dwell on differences with a loved one. Try to compromise.

So, if my interpretation of this is correct, either my now month-old marriage is about to end, or Abby's pregnant. Or the cookies are lying. Still, what the hell kind of fortune is that?

Of course, you can do the old "in bed" trick, in which case my trio of fortunes would seem to indicate a pending surprise threesome. Or you can do it xkcd-style and add "except in bed", which is just depressing for the first fortune, doesn't quit work for the second, and turns the third into a time-tested relationship maxim.

...

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Also, I have 18 winning Lotto numbers, if anyone is interested.

Speaking of Unsolicited

I've been getting more spam than usual lately. Not that it's an issue, because gmail has the best spam-filter evarr, but still, the fact that the little number on the left next to the "spam" link is on average higher than the day before bothers me. On principle.

I routinely empty out my spam folder and when I do so, I scan the titles briefly to see if anything solicited has found it's way in. This rarely happens. But I couldn't help noticing the inordinate number of spam messages touting an Angelina Jolie sex tape.

So, what gives? Is there some new Jolie look-alike who's agreed to get naked, or has someone just started looping the two-fifths of a second of Hackers in which she exposes a pre-augmentation breast?

And speaking of spam...

Did you know that spam was invented by lawyers? True story.

Anywho. Speaking of solicitation, I got a sales call about car warranties on the phone at the office, and not thirty seconds after hanging up, I got the same call on my cell phone. The irony was lost on the salesman, however, because he was a recording.

And I feel like a bit of a cad, but I linked to here from Cinematical article (I'm in the comments). It honestly was a topic-relevant comment, and the link was pertinent to it. But I still put up a link to my own site in a comment on another site. I'm conflicted.

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Credibilty Shmedibility

CNN has once again proven the viability of TV news with their report on a Bigfoot discovery in Georgia.

Not that Georgia, the other Georgia.

This all goes to support my claim that in the future there will be no news, only blogs. TV news is driven by ratings, so they tend towards sensationalism. This is why CNN is looking more and more like the National Enquirer these days.

The only thing newsrooms have that the laity don't is access, and the key to keeping that access is to not speak truth to power, it seems, or even to anyone.

I think more and more people will be turning to news blogs for up-to-the-minute info and turning their TV's off.

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Oscar Worthy?

I caught The Dark Knight again this weekend with some out-of-town company who hadn't seen it yet. After three viewings, it still holds up. Definitely looking forward to the DVD release of that. Actually, I think I'm looking forward to the director commentary more than anything else--Chris Nolan commentaries are a bit dry, but very informative if you're interested in film as a storytelling medium.

Okay, here's my outlandish prediction. I think The Dark Knight is going to be the dark-horse nominee for Best Picture at the Oscars in February.

Qualifier: it's way, way to early to be making predictions like this. Oscar contenders don't hit the theaters until November/December, so I'm saying this while having no idea what the competition is going to be. Also, it won't win. But I still think it's got a chance at the nomination, and here's my reasoning:

The Oscars are a political organization as much as anything else. And while they definitely tend to honor the hoity-toity titles, they also like to stay with the pulse of mainstream movie-watchers just enough to not appear as clueless as, oh, say, the Grammys. The dark horse slot is for just such a movie--a mainstream film that was really good, if not exactly what the Academy usually goes for. Hence, Juno gets nominated. See also: Little Miss Sunshine. So why The Dark Knight?

First off, this has been a great summer for comic book movies. Alongside the TDK and Iron Man juggernauts, you've got The Incredible Hulk, Hellboy II, and something else (that escapes me). All successful, all reasonably good, and if you have to pick one of them to truly represent greatness in that genre, The Dark Knight is the pony to bet on.

Second, it's a box office giant. It will probably cap out around $500 million in domestic gross, and that's not something that can just be ignored when it comes time to start handing out awards. That's not to say that gross = win, but there's some correlation there. Titanic was a box office giant, and it swept the awards. So did Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and it did so at a time when nobody believed a fantasy film could win Best Picture. In fact, all three LOTR films had high grosses, and all three were Best Picture nominees.

Third, apart from being a comic book movie, it's a very Oscar-friendly film, technically and thematically. It's a gritty crime drama that explores the notions of right and wrong, rule v anarchy, heroism v villainy. It features a very Oscar-friendly cast, by way of Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine. The movie will probably be up for cinematography (especially with all the IMAX buzz it's generated), an award that Batman Begins won. Also, Chris Nolan is kind of a rising star. Although they weren't exactly swimming in accolades, film buffs talk a lot about Memento and Insomnia.

Last, the Oscars are very much about politics. It's about glad-handing and chumming up to Academy members. There's already a pretty substantial movement on the web and in the media for a posthumous Oscar for Heath Ledger, and if you've seen the film, you know it's not just posturing--his performance, while not the type of thing the Academy usually honors, was nothing shy of incredible. The viral buzz, though not something that would affect the Academy directly, is not something that can simply dismiss. In short, half the work is done already. There's a pretty strong incentive for Warner Bros and Chris Nolan to work the Oscar-circuit on behalf of, not just Ledger, but also all of the technical achievements.

This is even more apparent when you consider the timing of the DVD release. It will most likely hit shelves in mid-to-late November, just in time for Christmas. It will still be pretty fresh when nominations are announced in January, and that can serve as a nice boost to sales--a summer blockbuster with "Nominated for X Oscars including Best Picture" under it's name on the ads just when people are trying to figure out how to spend their Christmas gift-cards.

So, there's my argument. I may be wrong, and who knows, Quantum of Solace may blow The Dark Knight completely out of the water. We'll see in January.

FPS me, ASAP! (OMG)

So last night I got in (read as "picked up") Medal of Honor: Heroes 2 for the Wii. I wanted a good First Person Shooter, since that system is built for FPS's, and I wasn't in a Metroid mood. And that, it seems are your options. Unlike the Xbox 360, which is awash in shooters, the Wii gives you funky alien worlds and a fantastical setting or Americans versus Nazi's in WWII. That's the extent of your choices, unless you want to play Red Steel, (which, trust me, you don't). Seriously, you can't even spell WWII without "Wii".

...I apologize for that...

It's been that way ever since the only FPS's on the market were Doom and Wolfenstein. Okay, so you get the odd Portal or Duke Nukem or Goldeneye that is a stand-out by being different (different and AWESOME, in some cases), but most FPS's fall neatly into column A or column B. I get column A. Bright colors, weird larger-than-life monsters, bizarre worlds, futuristic weapons. Much as this column holds both the Metroid and Halo and Half-Life franchises (yes, I know H-L takes place on Earth, but stick with me, here), the games are all markedly different from each other.

Then there's column B. Realistic war-time games, which almost always involve Americans fighting the Germans in France in the early 40's. All of the Call of Honor and Medal of Duty games fit here (except, notably, Call of Duty 4) as well as all the Wolfenstein clones and spin-offs. Why?

Well I'll tell you (he's going to tell!). For the same reasons war movies that aren't anti-war all take place in the same time/place (well, mostly). It meets all of the following criteria.

1. We won. No one would have a war game set in Vietnam. That'd be crazy. No, even if you won the game you'd have this weird experience of having won a war that America lost. It wouldn't sell.
2. The enemy was clearly in the wrong. It's impossible to sympathize with the Nazis. They have a name for that type of person. It's "Nazi-sympathizer"... ironically enough. And while I'm not one to ever throw the word "evil" around loosely*, most people are, and to most people Nazi = Evil, which is why they kept showing up in Indiana Jones movies as late as 1989.
3. The style of warfare is very game-able. To have an FPS, you really need machine guns. And WWI was more of a hide-in-a-trench-and-then-stand-and-get-shot war. Actually, come to think of it, WWI might be good fodder for a real-time strategy game.
4. All of the combatants where white. Not in real life, I know, but any that you would encounter in a movie or video game certainly were. Don't believe me that this is a factor? Fine. When they make The Tuskegee Airmen for PS3 I'll buy you a copy. Or just look at any game in your library and ask yourself how many of them star some grizzled Caucasian. Resident Evil 5 is making waves because it will take place in Africa, and the main hero will be somewhat black-tinted.

So there you have it. But, coming back to my original point, the Wii has awesome FPS potential over a controller-based scheme. I don't know why, but I could never get the hang of left-stick-moves-you-right-stick-moves-your-head controls. Too many years playing Goldeneye, I guess. Left sticks moves you forward and back and rotates you. Right stick is for looking up and down and strafing. Totally not intuitive. I'll set up my controller to handle that way on something like Halo, but it still doesn't feel right. I long for those C-buttons. Digression.

But on Medal of Honor: Heroes 2, I had a learning curve of about three minutes. Use the stick to move. Use the remote to aim and turn. It's so intuitive. And if that's too complicated for you, there's always rail-shooter mode. It's very engaging, until the story interrupts you and you're reminded that you're in a game with little-to-no imagination with regards to plot.

But it should tide me over until next Spring, by which point we should have The Conduit (a sci-fi FPS in which you fight aliens) and Call of Duty 5.

Le sigh.

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*I've said it before, but I'll reiterate. The Nazis weren't evil. They did "evil" things, but they were motivated by socio-political and economic factors, not some well of malcontent that surged up under the Rhine in 1937.

Review: Tropic Thunder

Finally, someone is giving the Judd Apatow crowd a run for their money in the league of absurd, crude, R-rated comedies. And this one is helmed by none other than Ben Stiller.

Tropic Thunder is a multi-layered send-up of war movies--a genre that hasn't really been touched since the Hot Shots films (I think). Some of the strokes are subtle. Specific shots reference Platoon, Apocalypse Now!, and Saving Private Ryan, and fans of the genre will take notice. Others are more broad. Jack Black's drug adled comedian character borrows from Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams (although not directly enough to say that he is parodying anyone in particular); Robert Downey, Jr.,'s (punctuation police?) Kirk Lazarus is one part Tom Hanks and three parts Russel Crowe. Ben Stiller is... well, a bit more generic, but I couldn't help but remember his take on Tom Cruise back in the day. And speaking of Tom Cruise, he shows up and steals every scene he touches, and every scene he's in is funnier than the one before.

In fact, the bit players do a lot for this film. Brandon Soo Hoo, the itty-bitty drug lord, is instantly likeable and endearing... for a drug lord. Matthew Mac-Con-Nah-Hee is great fun to watch, as are Danny R. McBride and Brandon T. Jackson. And I chuckled mightily as Jay Baruchel waxed philosophical about how gamers and porn had determined the Blu-Ray/HD-DVD fight. Even the tiniest bit parts were seriously, seriously amusing. Toby McGuire shows up for about thirty seconds--perhaps the funniest thirty seconds of the film. Jon Voigt and Lance Bass are there for a few guffaws.

Silly and as much an over-the-top war film as the films it spoofs, Tropic Thunder is hilariously offensive and vile. Not perfect, but side-achingly fun if you're in the right frame of mind.

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Wait, What?, Tropic Thunder Edition

So Abby and I are probably going to go see Tropic Thunder tonight. And, being the film buffs that we are, we're talking about seeing it in blackface.

...

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Its Our Tree, But Much of the Root Structure is in the Neighbor's Septic Tank

So today I found ItsOurTree.com, a social network site centered on genealogy. I've a couple of relatives who were interested in family trees, one of whom is now deceased and the other being a very, very distant relative over in Germany (he hosts the website pankau.net, a network site devoted to the Pankau namesake, so I thought he'd get a kick of this). And I must confess that I'm somewhat intrigued.

On the one hand, genealogy is kind of like existentialism-lite. I like the idea of watching your own family tree grow as other people fill in the gaps--discovering connections, meeting people that you don't like. On the other hand, does the world really need another social networking site?

So, the thing claims to be in open beta, and I'm happy to try it out, and it's pretty bug-free (so far) all things considered. Worth a look.

In other news, Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both died over the weekend. Between those deaths and Morgan Freeman's car accident, this has not been a very good week for black entertainers.

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Movies, Sunday Blues

So it's been a weekend of me disappeared into the other bedroom working on music between errands and movies. Just finished The Hunt for Red October, and boy does that movie still hold up after all these years. Sean Connery chewing Russian through his Scottish brogue notwithstanding, there's a fabulous feel of realism infused throughout.

It was DVD's for the weekend--although I was very tempted to go see The Dark Knight again. Ultimately, I opted out, since Abby's brother is coming into town next weekend and we'll almost certainly see it with him. I've already seen it twice, and I'm not above seeing it a fourth time, but you gotta spread it out a little. I'm reminded of my obsession that developed around the second installment of the Lord of the Rings films. I saw The Two Towers six times in the theaters, thrice during opening weekend. For me, it was worth the price of admission just to watch Legolas mount his horse (it is, seriously, the best moment in the movie).

The equivalent in TDK is the emergence of the Bat-pod. Because, yes, it's that bad-ass.

Anywho.

Today was spent "in the studio", stumbling out occasionally for food or conversation. The fruits of my labors can be found at my Abstract All-Stars page on Fuzz.com. AAS is the musical alter-ego I use for the weird, atmospheric, ambient, dance-y stuff I write. (read "weird" as "lyrically nonsensical", "dance-y" as "with looped drums", and "ambient" a "God, I use too much reverb"). Today's addition was Sunday Blues, and you are free to download and share it, along with anything else you find there.

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Review: Pineapple Express

I was unusually hyped about this movie. I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it was the glut of big-budget action that preceded it this summer. Maybe it was the hangover from and The Dark Knight and Iron Man. Maybe it was the infective trailer with the M.I.A. song that has been stuck in my head for the last week and a half.

Maybe it was the shot of Seth Rogen belly-whopping off a second-floor balcony onto Gary Cole.

I'm glad it didn't suck. I don't know how I would have reacted--actually I do. Just read my review of Indiana Jones 4. God, I haven't been that disappointed in a highly anticipated movie since Spider-Man 3.

Digression.

Speaking of Spider-Man 3, the original Spider-Man had that song Hero by Chad Kroeger and Josie Scott that played during the trailer. That was equally infective. I was sort of interested in seeing Spidey on the big screen (liked the idea, didn't think Toby McGuire could pull it off), but when I saw that trailer with the cunning use of a fairly mediocre song (remember this line: "someone tole me love will all save us"... wtf, Chad?), I was hooked, I was there, ready to see Toby and Kirstin Dunst and James Franco.

Digression.

Speaking of James Franco, he's funnier in this. And Seth Rogen is funny. I laughed. I actually cackled. Out loud. Alone once (it was a Star Wars joke, and clearly no one in the theater thought it was nearly as funny as I did).

Wait, where was I? So this is an action-buddy-stoner-comedy with a 70's vibe and a bitchin' soundtrack. Very dark, very violent, very stupid, and very very funny. And I don't like stoner movies. Seriously, I couldn't finish Harold and Kumar.

Also, for a movie with a nearly-entirely male cast, it was strangely effeminate.

Wait. What?

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