God And Santa (Sitting In A Tree)

So yesterday I asserted that Santa Claus is the only real example of a vast conspiracy that enjoys any degree of success, and that's its dubious success is a tribute to the inability of a vast conspiracy to accomplish anything meaningful. The obvious follow-up question is this: "Kurt, you snarky non-believer, you--why didn't you cite God as an example of a vast conspiracy?"

Couple reasons. Namely, there's a difference between a grand delusion and a successful conspiracy. Also, there are plenty of conspiracies that are successful, but they're hardly vast, and the larger they get, the more likely they are to fail. But I'll back up a bit and address the actual question. Is God a vast conspiracy? No, I don't think so--a vast delusion for sure, but not a conspiracy.

That there are plenty of grand delusions out there that aren't conspiracies. These may be self-delusions guided by greed or groupthink. They may simply be commonly accepted mistakes--to be a genuine conspiracy, the conspirators really have to know that they're lying. And I think religion is a combination of self-delusion, misinformation, greed, and groupthink (where two or three are gathered in his name, there is someone making shit up in their midst).

But on a more personal note, I find the example of Santa Claus to be nonetheless informative (aside: hey, it's Christmas, you didn't think I'd pass up a chance to blaspheme, did you?).

Think about it this way: kids believe in Santa for reasons that make sense to them. They've had their picture taken with him, he brings them presents every year, he drinks their milk and eats their cookies. But at the end of the day, believing in Santa requires the ability to believe in a certain amount of magic in the world. And once children discover the truth, they find plausible explanations for all the "evidence" of Santa in a world without magic. They have no incentive to do so, but they don't need him anymore, and to continue to believe would be intellectually dishonest.

So the other night I went to a Christmas Eve church service, because I am a dutiful son-in-law. And it felt good to walk into a church--it was like a comfort food. I've been a church-goer for most of my life. I began to ask myself if it would be worth attending just for a the camaraderie and the music. But as soon as the service proper started, I remembered why I don't go anymore. I have seen truth, and I can't force myself to buy the lie anymore. I am simply not capable. There was a reading from Isaiah 9, that allegedly prophesied the coming of Jesus, and Abby was quick to point out that verse 7, at the end of that prophecy, didn't come true. (For the quibblers, you can say that it may yet come true, and I can say that Jesus's alleged arrival actually served to make things worse, and we can go on about it all day, so let's pretend like we already did, since it is an anecdotal example and not directly contributing to any particular argument).

I can't speak for my wife, but I miss the church in some ways--I miss believing that there was a certain amount of magic in the world. Although I have pointed out in the past that the day I gave up on God was one of the happiest of my life. But I'd love it have it both ways--the acknowledge the truth but live the lie. But I can't. To do so would be intellectually dishonest, and a disservice to both myself and any church I happened to be attending.

For I have found better explanations of the way the world works that don't involve magic.

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