Monday, March 30, 2009

RIP BSG

I suppose I should comment on the much-loved and now-ended Battlestar Galactica. The finale's on Hulu now, so if you haven't seen it yet, it's your own damned fault. Be that as it may, spoilers ahead.


I know there's some disagreement, but I felt like the ending played out pretty naturally. Which is not to say I like it, but it felt planned and it worked within the logic of the show. Evan is free to contradict me here--I know he felt like it was a half-assed tacked-on resolution. Abby found it cheesey. I only found it vaguely disappointing.

Or rather, perhaps I found it disappointingly vague. Some explanation for the inner-Balter/inner-Six bit might have been nice, to say nothing of the incredible disappearing Starbuck. It seems that we've chalked it up to "God", which implies that God's plan for humanity involves killing most of them. For some reason. And while it's weird to see hard-sci-fi go all religous on us, it is taking the series back to its roots, somewhat.

As for the idea that the events of the series are in the past rather than the future: it's not the least obvious twist ending, and it was carried out with a degree of elegance. Although the whole "there are homo sapiens here, by weird coincidence" bit did little for me. And the emotional engagement of the very final scene (on present-day Earth) overwhelmed the absurdity of it. Barely.

That said, I still enjoyed it. It felt like a complete story, even if it was flawed.

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Inna Gada DaKanada?!

Currently listening to Blaise Bailey Finnegan III by Godspeed You! Black Emperor off their EP Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada.

This is the kind of art metal that makes Tool look like they just aren't trying hard enough. Anywho, this track is 17:45 long, making it the longest single song I have on the old iPod. I've got a few "tracks" that are longer, but most of those are long remixes of existing short-form songs, or they were the last track off a CD with a hidden track attached to the end (and however many minutes of blank space were en vogue that year). I think the longest track I have is the final track off OK GO's Oh No!, which, full disclosure, I haven't listened to yet, so it may invalidate this whole posting, but I think it's a safe bet to hedge. That track is over 34 minutes (longer than most Sum 41 albums), and just behind that is the final track off Jars of Clay's self-titled disc, clocking in at 27 minutes and change.

Of course, I don't have any Iron Butterfly, so perhaps none of this is all that impressive.

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Hindsight's 20/20

They say the best things in life are free. They also say that you get what you pay for. They say that he who hesitates is lost. But they also say to look before you leap. They say the unexamined life is not worth living, but the also say that ignorance is bliss.

Can we agree, at least for the moment, that "they" are idiots.

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Friday, March 27, 2009

Info Q Too, Buddy!

A friend forwarded to me an InfoQ page on tech trends to see in 2009, and I gotta be honest, the article just irritated me.

First, it's an ugly page. For a tech site, InfoQ is pretty hideous and cluttered and lacks... navigability. Now, to be fair, there are lots of hideous tech sites out there, but most of them are forums. This is a 'zine site, so it should look better and be more readable.

Also, it's just bad writing--not because of its flawed grammar and vocab (although don't think I didn't notice those). It's the style and tone of it. This article was not intended to be understood, it was intended to be referenced and linked-to. In fact, I feel vaguely guilty for including a link to it. The author never posits an original idea, instead s/he refers liberally to other articles, and these are never really qualified or explored.

They also happen to be mostly rubbish, far as I can tell anyway. Why am I up in arms about this? It's not like there isn't plenty of other bad writing on the web. But this article came to me through industry professionals. This is in line with a lot of the business-oriented thinking, and that bother's me.

Let's cite some examples, shall we?

"Cloud computing... will be 'ground zero for the famous OS platform wars'."

For the uninitiated, Cloud Computing is the idea that more and more applications are being hosted on the web and that your computer is a point of access to the cloud rather than a place where you actually do work (okay, it's substantially more complicated, but that's a good gist). Several applications apply this paradigm: Steam, Google Docs, DropBox, etc. But the beauty of these (excluding Steam) is that they're platform-independent. You can write documents on Google Docs from your PC at work or your grandmother's Mac. So, rather than being 'ground zero', cloud computing is making the platform wars irrelevant. This will be doubly true as mobile technology becomes more ubiquitous. Now it's Mac/Windows/Linux. Next year it'll be Mac/Windows/Linux/Windows-Mobile/Android. And we'll see even more programs hosted on the web and written in multi-platform languages.

"Dynamic languages that 'enable a large boost in productivity' due to the 'trade-off in run-time performance."

First, that's not a sentence. Second, trade-off between run-time performance and what? Third, every six months the tech media embrace whatever dynamic language they think is supposed to kill Java (which is notably not dynamic). But nothing ever does. Java has a strong community, a huge library of software and API's behind it, and widespread applicability. Even if a dynamic language came along that was vastly superior, it would have a lot to overcome before it ever became the gold standard. I'm not saying that dynamic languages won't become a big thing, but I'll believe it when I see it and the 'trade-off between run-time performance' isn't even a complete thought, let alone an argument.

"Mashups, that are 'extremely common in the consumer space' and would finally be ready 'for prime-time in business'."

God, where to start. Mashups are not new, nor are they particularly interesting. Seeing a Google map embedded in a real-estate website is technically a mashup. Using Flickr in conjunction with your Facebook page is a mashup. Yeah. And. So. What? It's kind of like going back ten years and saying that someday people will be using word processors to write documents and then attaching those documents to their electronic mail messages. It's true, but it isn't exactly ground-breaking. Also, why is it "finally" ready for business? What's changed? And exactly what is the difference between the 'consumer space' and 'business'?

And this is nitpicky, but why are we talking about something being ready for prime-time? In the age of video-on-demand, "ready for prime-time" is an outdated paradigm. But you know what? I just thought of something. How is the trend towards video-on-demand and the success of services like Hulu and YouTube going to play out for telecom companies that have a stake in both regular cable and high speed internet connections? How is the switch to HD going to affect all this? Those are excellent questions that are tech-related, relevant, and have nothing to do with cloud computing and dynamic programming languages!

Because here's the thing (I could give more examples, but we'd be here all day): this entire article, and by extension the entire way of thinking that sits behind it, is an attempt to predict future behavior by thinking about high-level concepts in a vacuum. But most technologies that come along are there in response to a specific problem. HotMail came about so people without a web connection at home could still have an e-mail address. New tech. These new tech's then become co-opted for other reasons and introduce new problems: now everyone has an e-mail address; some people have lots of them. Wouldn't it be great to be able to sync them up. Okay, now your Hotmail account can pull messages from your ISP-provided e-mail address via POP. Then the cycle continues. Now I'm sending a ton of little bitty messages; here's a message service--now you can view conversations in a single window. Wow, I wish my e-mail was like that; here's GMail. Etc, etc, etc.

Getting back to mashups: I was involved with a business that ran a Blogger blog but ftp'd the contents to its own server in order to capitalize on the SEO benefits and drive traffic to the site. One mashup used. This same business deliberately did not use Google Maps with its service but instead developed its own proprietary map so we wouldn't have to pay licensing fees to Google. One mashup avoided. Both choices were made for explicitly practical reasons. At no point did anyone ever say "You know what we need? We need some kind of mashup!"

No one arrives at innovation by thinking about higher-level computing concepts absent a context. But in these business-ese papers, the rationale almost always seems to be "this thing is good, so it will be the next big thing". Lots of good things fail. Lots of bad things excel. Just look at previous "big" things: Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. None of these are "good". They're actually pretty stupid, when you think about them. But they caught on. The whole social-networking Web 2.0 phenomenon is a bit silly and came about through frivolous exercises. But it's big, it's here to stay, and now businesses are start to wonder how they can incorporate that kind of paradigm into their business model.

Christ on a cracker.

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Dealing with a Glass Hole

Got my windshield replaced today by AutoCraft. It was fast, convenient, and less expensive than I'd anticipated. Also, I was able to get a quote over e-mail.


So yeah, good customer service experience. I can't vouch for other markets, but if you're in the St. Louis area, check them out.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Economy

Finally, some good news about the economy. I'm not talking about he DOW. It did jump 500 points Monday and only dropped about 100 yesterday, and while this is an upward trend, it still demonstrates the volatility of an unstable market.

No, I'm talking about new orders for manufactured goods, which were up in February by 3.4% after six consecutive monthly decreases, the most recent of which was a 7.3% decrease in January. Adjusted to exclude transportation, it was a 3.9% increase; adjusted to exclude defense it was 1.7%.

What does this mean? It means that car makers have taken a hit (since their exclusion accounts for a .5% increase), but other manufactured goods providers have sold through their dead inventory and are starting to make purchases again.

The economy is based on movement. Let's say you sell widgets and you consistently sell 100 a month. Let's say it takes you 6 months to get them in from when you order them. Then an economic slump starts in January and you only sell 90 that month. That means that you have 110 in inventory and only order 90 for July. Then you sell 90 in February, but you still get 100 in from the order you placed six months before, so now you've got 120 in inventory so you only order 80 for August. Then yous sell 90 in March but receive 100. Etc, etc, etc. After a while you hit an equilibrium where you're consistently selling and receiving 90 per month, but until then, your orders for new stock are actually worse than your sales for existing stock.

In short, manufacturing gets hit extra hard early on because sellers have excess inventory laying around, and that may be finally coming to an end. Now the long-term behavior of the economy reflects the short-term situation a little better. To put it another way, now that we've stopped bleeding out, we can get down to the business of healing up.

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Insomnia Post

Argh. I can't sleep. I have a nearly-finished song stuck in my head. Lodged. Can't concentrate on anything else without coming back to the damned chorus.

It's a bit frustrating.

Actually, over time it morphs into that god-awful "Little Black Backpack" song from 1999. Stroke 9, I think. That song and my song have absolutely nothing in common, but I keep vacillating between the two.

Must sleep. I haven't gotten a really good night's repose in a month.

Argh.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Send Your Suggestions to...

Why don't websites have suggestion boxes? Yesterday, I listed a whole slew of things that I thought would improve Amazon's services. I would tell them directly, but there's no place to do it.


Isn't customer feedback worthwhile, even if 97% of it is absolute garbage? Seriously, put a suggestion box on the site. You don't even have to make it easy to find, to discourage the non tech-savvy from submitting worthless ideas. Or perhaps you want the feedback of the non tech-savvy more than the tech-savvy, so you put it right on the front page.

I tried to submit an idea to Bank of America, but they wanted to put me through this whole rigmarole about how my idea was no longer mine once I submitted it, so I ultimately opted out. But it's not like their website is perfect. It was only recently that it started loading from a naked domain without crapping itself. When you log in, the submit key changes to a broken image link because the page can't find the "submitting button" image. Amateur hour, people. And here's my idea: why not allow us to manually input checks? Here's the check number, here's the amount, deduct it from my balance and notify me when it finally clears. That would be a huge convenience for me.

Speaking of Amateur Hour, I recently perused some websites for Paintball fields in St. Louis. I will never go to Wacky Warriors, ever, because their website makes my eyes hurt. It was the worst I saw, but not by very much. I'm sure it's the best website 1994 could buy, but a lot has changed in 15 years. You know what hasn't changed in at least three years? The copyright tag on their site. I want to know three things: what fields are there, how much does it cost to play, and when are you open? Try finding any of that on most of these sites (to say nothing of a suggestion box).

So yeah, I'm thinking a little widget that has some radio buttons for what type of feedback, be it technical, spiritual, or menu advice, to direct the contents of a text box that will hold 500 characters or less. What site couldn't benefit from that?

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Building a Better Amazon

I do the bulk of my shopping for non-consumables at Amazon, much of that through Amazon Marketplace (it's like eBay, only with quality control). There are things I absolutely love about it, and there are a few features that would make my mostly-good shopping experiences even better. I love being able to make wish lists, and even to leave item notes on said lists. I use the notes section to keep track of price trends and set thresholds (e.g., "buy if below $25" or "buy new if used price is above $6"). This is all well and good, but it means that I spend a lot of time running through the list to check prices.

Wouldn't it be great if there were a feature that sent you e-mails if certain threshold parameters were met? Send me an e-mail if someone offers this item for less than $15. Or, we can do even better; this is the company that introduced one-click shopping, after all. What if you could set a parametrized command that would automatically purchase if a seller with a rating of 95% or better and at least 100 transactions offered a specific item for less than $15 in New or Like-New condition? I think you'd sell a lot more merchandise, and here's why:

My list fluctuates between 150 and 200 items, which is just this side of unmanageably large. I tend to add things to it on a whim--a book promoted on The Daily Show catches my interest, perhaps, and I don't necessarily want to pay full price for it, but I wouldn't mind reading it and if I don't put it in the list I'm going to forget about it. That means that at any given point, 75% of my wish list is things that I probably won't purchase and definitely won't pay very much for--but I have to look through them when I do my price-shopping anyway. 8 pages of items is a lot, so I routinely have to cull the herd, so to speak. Ergo, things that I might be willing to pay $5 for get cut from the list, and I will now never purchase them.

The ability to filter sellers would be great. For example, I don't want to buy a movie without a case or with a case that's in bad condition. You invariably end up with someone who is selling a movie (or game or CD) with no case, no artwork, and lots of scratches that "don't affect playback". Well, most people won't buy it, and it will generally have the low price, so it sits there and I constantly have to shop around it until it gets purchased or removed. So when I'm looking through my list, the price of undesirable item shows up as the "new and used from..." price. So when an item on my list has a new low price, it takes two clicks for me to verfiy that price. If the low price item is bullshit but stays there for a while, everytime I check prices I have to click twice extra for that item. What if there were a little checkbox I could click that kept it from showing up in my list? Or let's say I simply don't want to purchase anything from a particular seller. Or let's say that I won't consider any product that's not in "Very Good" condition or better. Why should inferior products obstruct/prolong my shopping?

In fact, the whole Wish List paradigm could use an overhaul. Don't get me wrong, it's extremely useful and I love it, but if it were more useful, people would use it more, and more products would be sold. Right now it's a setup in which you can make as many lists as you like and those are either public or private. Lists can only contain individual items and they have "Comments", "Priority" (which is a 1-5 scale), as well as "desired" and "received" quantities. There is no "view all lists" option (that I know of). There is no page navigation within a list outside of "previous" and "next". Making lists overlap is impractical. You can't do a search within a list. If something is in a list, there's no indication on the product page. You can filter items by type (video game, movie, music, etc) and by whether you've purchased them or not (or see both). You can sort them by priority low-to-high or high-to low, price highest-first or lowest-first (only the "new" price is factored in), or antichronologically by date-added. This last one is the default and is kind of frustrating--things that I've been watching the longest take the most time for me to get to.

So I've got about 8 pages of things I'm interested in purchasing. Let's say I want to pay close attention to box sets of Battlestar Galactica. Well, most of them are towards the end of the list, but season 4.0 came out more recently, so it's somewhere in the middle, so even if I could jump straight to page 8 (which I can't) I wouldn't see them all. I could sort by priority and filter out non-movies--that might get them all on the same page. Maybe. A regular Amazon search is going to pull up items I'm not interested in (and I can't track prices that way because the comments are in my wish list). Really, my only option is to make a dedicated BSG list, but then it's not there when I'm looking at other things. In practice, it takes at least 8 clicks for me to check prices on BSG sets, and by the time I get to the end of it, I've looked at over 150 other items as well. If I could get there in two clicks, I might be more inclined to buy if I saw a price I liked, and I'd certainly be able to check back more often.

Other little qualms: you can't remove an item or update the comments on an item without redrawing the entire page. So it's easy to forget to save changes or to spend a lot of time trying to do simple things. It's all very frustrating at times.

So why not do this instead: Rather than multiple customizable lists, have a single searchable master wish list with customizable tags. Single items can have multiple tags, including reserved tags like "private" or "gift" that affect their behavior in the list. Priority ranking is fine, but 5 choices is almost too many. I think most people could get by with three (or even two). In practice, something either is a priority or it isn't. Also, being able to reorder the list on the fly would be nice. And I would love to be able to subscribe to more than just products. Why can't I add "Beck" to my wish list, so I get a notification anytime he has a new album out? Do the same for authors or actors or directors or manufacturers or sellers.

Obviously such changes would involve some difficult migration and implementation issues, but I think in the long run it would make for a better website. If Amazon had a suggestion box, I'd send them this idea directly, but instead I hand it over to you, blogosphere.

Do with it what you will,

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Bizarro Luthor?

Ben does a character study of Lex Luthor, and something occurred to me: this could be what is needed to save the Superman franchise. When they do the next reboot, tell the story from Luthor's point of view. The problem with Superman is that he's basically God. He has no character arc. He is simply a force of nature.

So make that the problem rather than the solution. Superman is an unstoppable force for good who makes humanity weaker. Luthor just wants to save the human race from itself (all while making a killing on real estate).

Food for thought,

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Saturday, March 21, 2009

AIG, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E

It's been interesting to get some counterpoint on the whole AIG bonus debacle. Since the media are fixed on the "moral outrage" angle, let's see what the other side looks like.

XCKD pointed out that the words $170 billion and $165 million sound pretty similar right next to each other but, in fact, are not. A drop in the bucket.

Slate's John Dickerson pointed out on Twitter that expert retention bonuses are not, in fact, frivolous, but are necessary when you want to keep your top people--whether they earned them or not. He compared it to the de-Ba'athification of the Iraqi government after Saddam's ouster from power. The qualified people, some of whom may have joined the Ba'ath party simply so they could participate in politics, were fired and new people--without connections, expertise, or experience--were brought in.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sick and Oh-So-Right!

Okay, here's a movie pitch:


Meet Rosco Chandling. Rosco is from a wealthy family in Manhattan. He is 10 years old and an only child, and he was recently diagnosed with terminal leukemia. He has just begun chemotherapy and is having an incredibly difficult time getting around, so his wealthy industrialist father makes him a powered suit that helps him get around.

Rosco spends his days in bed or in hospitals or in clinics or at the specialist's office. But he spends his nights on the street, fighting crime as CANCER-BOY, assisted by his trusty side kick: Live-In Nurse.

Look out, evil-doers. He may not see 11, but he'll see you behind bars!

...yes, this is why I'm going to hell...

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

PC Gaming Musings Part 1: Love Me Some Valve

I finally got Boot Camp running correctly on the iMac at home, which has meant renewed access to my Steam account, so over the weekend I played through Portal again and got to try my hand at Left 4 Dead.


I have a great fondness for Valve's game-making sensibilities. First of all, both games have commentary. I love, love, love audio commentaries on movies; I was born for the age of the DVD. So to have two games that are great games in-and-of-themselves but that also have audio commentary for feature junkies like myself--it's just awesome-sauce.

You get a nice little glimpse of the way they go about creating software. Some of it is technical, like the way they meshed up physics in Portal or the way they textured cars in L4D that gave enough variety but didn't overtax their "texture budget". A lot of it is more practical, like the orange jumpsuit in Portal designed to make the character stand out against the sterile backgrounds. And some of it is simply philosophical. For instance, Left 4 Dead is a spoof of zombie apocalypse movies, and it never forgets what it is or tries to take itself too seriously. Similarly, Portal never tries to make GLaDOS scary. Throughout the first 2/3 of the game, GLaDOS seems genuinely ambivalent as to whether you live or die, even while you find yourself in strangely perilous situations. So when she finally does actively try to kill you, it has some weight. Both games spend a lot more time trying to be funny and fun than trying to be "cool". And the result is a game that is extremely cool and well-received (as compared to many of the shooters out there that try desperately to be cool but come off as laughable).

There are some similarities in the way the games were developed. Both were over-written--there's a lot more story in there than either game lets on. It's hinted at, but never explicitly told, leaving the player to discover and ignore as much as s/he chooses. It also means that there will be plenty more story to tell in sequels and that it will follow naturally from the originals (rather than feeling tacked-on). The games are noticeably free of cut-scenes. Any storytelling happens during gameplay, rather than interrupting it. Also, both games were extensively play-tested. Valve spent a week developing a working model of L4D and then 3 years testing and tweaking it. So both games are instantly playable by novices but can still be enjoyed by experts, and both do a good job of leading you to the exits without maps or arrows or every leaving you feeling lost.

And then there's the trivial and the minutiae. Some highlights:

  • L4D was born while Valve were working on the bots for Counter-Strike: Source. They discovered that it was immensely fun to pit a couple guys working together with machine guns against thirty or forty bots with melee attacks. So they decided to build a game around that concept, and "zombie apocalypse" seemed the most apropos, conceptually.
  • In Portal, backgrounds are squared and interactive objects are rounded, making them instantly distinguishable. Elevators, doors, buttons and portals are round. Even cubes have rounded edges and circles in their design.
  • Because the focus on L4D is replay-value, many aspects of it are randomized, including enemy-spawning points, item-locations, dialog and music. This randomization inadvertantly made development easier because map changes were automatically populated by the game's virtual "director".
  • The voice actress who plays GLaDOS is an operatic soprano.
  • L4D uses lights and colors to guide you along the correct path. Safe houses and items are warm and saturated and the correct path is better lit than the detours are. Even though the levels are linear, they feel open because the player intuits the way from subliminal clues rather than being forced there by walls and obstructions (although there are plenty of those too). Similarly, hero characters have a warm, saturated look while the infected are desaturated and flat, making it easier to distinguish friend from foe.
  • Several levels in Portal are there to train you to do simple things without overtly insulting your intelligence. Level 03, for example, supposedly introduces you to the "pit", but in reality it teaches players that portals are bi-directional. Play testers seemed to get stuck on the idea that blue was always an entrance and orange was always an exit, but the stagnant orange portal in the center of the level must be used as both an entrance and an exit in order to proceed.
  • Both games are designed to prevent fatigue by mixing a couple basic schemes of play. Portal is constantly switching between simple timed puzzles and more complex strategic puzzles. L4D breaks up the keep-advancing-and-shoot-everything-that-moves dynamic with boss zombies that you want to either avoid altogether(e.g., witches) or pick off from a distance (e.g., boomers) and instances throughout each campaign where you have to dig in to a prepared defensive position before you can advance any more.

I guess this means I'll have to try Half-Life at some point.

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T.I.B.S: Back in a Siffy!

SciFi Channel has re-branded itself SyFy (which is pronounced "siffy"... or so I have declared). They claim that this is to eliminate the nerd stigma of "science fiction" and broaden their audience. At first glance, this sounds pretty stupid, but when you actually think it through, it's even stupider.


I mean, it would be one thing if someone at NBC (which owns Siffy) had said "look, we just sort of like this better, so we're going to try it". In the entertainment industry, "we just sort of like it better" is a valid argument. But this was a business decision made by business people. And when powerful people throw their support behind an at-best-poor-and-at-worst-insufferably-obtuse change to things that don't need to be changed, you know that there are problems. Let's take a look at what's going on with the channel right now.

They have exactly one hot commodity: Battlestar Galactica. It ends this week. So, aside from a TV movie in June, Siffy is about to run out of popular programming. So they need to expand viewership, post-haste, and they've reasoned that a name-change is the way to go. Actually, and more concerning..ly... they've decided that they need to expand viewership, and they've reasoned that appealing to a broader audience is the way to go. In short, they've taken the MTV approach to programming.

That worked for MTV, but only because they were ultra-hip to start out with and because "music" is a pretty broad category of programming. Science fiction is and has always been niche. It will always be niche. The biggest obstacle to making good sci-fi television is that it's expensive to produce and appeals to a niche audience. But digital effects have gotten cheaper and cheaper, and the success of BSG is proof that a good show can be sci-fi and still draw an audience. So why the change? Why not beg borrow a steal to make sure you get Ronald Moore's next project? (more on that below) When you're in a niche industry, the secret to success is to appeal to your base. Make your fans rabid fans so they'll convert their friends.

But when you try to appeal to a broader audience, you neglect your base. From what I understand, it's programming has included professional wrestling lately, hardly an appeal to the geek front. And if you think there aren't enough of us out there to support a channel, you're smoking your own propoganda. This must be why Sci-Fi fans hate the Siffy channel.

Hehe, there are lots of reasons. Not the least of which is the interminable breaks in the middle of seasons. The ten-shows-then-ten-month-hiatus business model pisses us off. I know a number of people who abhor the channel and will ONLY watch it for BSG. And most of us are pissed off at BSG and wouldn't even bother watching it except that it's almost over. If there were to be a fifth season, most of us would have given up half-way through the fourth.

Additionally, talent hates Siffy. The people who work on BSG have all sworn that they will never work for/with them again because of the insane hiatuses...es. Hiati?

So yeah. You're a niche channel that makes no attempt to air decent, relavent programming in a timely manner; you've run off all the talent and can't understand why you're hemorraging viewers. By all mean, change your name. That'll definitely fix things.

This is bullshit.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Who Really Pays Money for Software Anymore, Anyway?

I'm continually amazed at how much professional tools don't cost these days.  Let's say you wanted to start a web development company on the cheap.  What would you need?


Location - yes and no.  Your business would need an address, but it could just as easily be the address of one employee.  If you can trust absolutely everyone to work at home and have meetings either at some one's home or over a meal.  Face time and an office can improve productivity or impress a prospective client, to be sure, but it's a tremendous amount of overhead.  Easily upwards of $2000 a month, so unless it will increase your productivity or profit by more than that, skip it.

Phone - It's probably best to not give out private cellphone and home numbers as business contacts.  Instead, get a Skype number.  It'll run you all of $3 a month per number and you can forward it for free.

E-mail - not hosting an e-mail server will save you plenty, and time not spent doing IT is more time your developers can spend developing.  The absolute best e-mail client in the world is GMail, and you can map it to your own domain for free or sign up for Google Apps and get 25 gigs of storage (per account) plus all the nifty tools that go along with it for only $50/year/account.

Computers - any developer is going to have their own, so you don't necessarily need to buy new ones unless you're hiring people on.  Obviously if you're doing work on a computer you're going to want a decently powerful machine with a pretty good sized screen, but if all you need is a word processor with a web connection, you can get a netbook for $300 or so.

Web Site - you can set one up free through Google Sites and map a custom domain to it, but if this is a web development company, they're going to want to have written their own.  Probably.  Off-site hosting is pretty cheap these days, if you're paying more than $50 a month, you're overpaying.  You can get decent hosting for as little as $7 a month, especially if you're not anticipating a lot of bandwidth usage at first.

Software - Again, on the cheap.  Linux is a free OS, and there are plenty of programs that run on it, including Open Office, which I would use in lieu of Microsoft Office any day of the week.  Office has hung itself from the rope of its own proprietorship.  Documents are now .docx instead of .doc and are not compatible with any other word processor.  With OOo, you can save things as a .doc in a variety of formats and export to PDF with relative ease.  The menus are more familiar than the new Office Layout, and it's slick (in version 3 anyway).  Office is bulky.

You can do photo manipulation with GiMP, which is not quite as versatile as PhotoShop, but it costs nothing (as opposed to $400, or whatever PS retails for these days) and is decently powerful.

You can do inter-office communication with GTalk and share projects over Google Docs or Sites pretty easily.  Coordinate schedules with Google Calendar.  Coordinate projects with any number of free repositories out there (SVN comes readily to mind--and we've recently started using Mercurial at the office).  There are a number of free IDE's (if you're working in Ruby or Java or HTML), but there are a few frameworks (.net and development kits for video game systems) that will require some money.  Hell, if you're doing web development, you can cover a lot of ground with JEdit and Firefox's Code Auth plugin.

Advertise on Google--what it costs you per click depends on your market, but if you have a $50 monthly ad budget, you can still use PPC.  You don't have to take out print ads in every market.  Also, with a web presence, you can sell to anyone in the country, if not the world.

So this is an extreme and thoroughly idealistic, perhaps even marginally unrealistic example.  But, on the other hand, it shows that the barriers to entrepreneurship are receding.  You can start a business in your basement for less than $1000 without breaking a sweat.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the Internet is bringing back the American dream.

Anything I missed?

]{p

Sappy Paint Haddy's Day

...what he said...


]{p

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Watchmen Impressions

Apologies up front for the lack of a good pun in the title... "Kurt Watches the Watchmen" was just too obvious. Which only means that I've already told it a few times.

I'm a bit late to the Watchmen party, I know, but I feel the need to vocalize anyway because it's my blog and I'm allowed. Dammit.

Most of the things that I was nervous about turned out to not be issues: the changed ending worked just fine, perhaps even a little (heresy ahead, also spoilers) better than the ending in the graphic novel. The squid is a bit tough to take, and the rationale behind it isn't explained very fully in the book. Which is not to say it doesn't work in the book, but the whole "framing Dr. Manhattan" angle seemed ever-so-slightly more plausible.

Every single thing about Rorschach was excellent. Jackie Earle Haley's performance was spot-on. The costume looked good, the characterization was great. My wife complained that his freckles looked fake (my wife was also pointing out continuity errors in the height of Silk Spectre's heels, for perspective). Right up until he fell out of a window and began doing Kung Fu. Which brings me to my first complaint:

The fighting was way too stylized, and that cost the fights some of their brutality. Snyder made up for it by making the fights extra bloody and broken bones-y, which I have mixed feelings about. Not the direction I'd have taken, is all I'm saying. The opening fight between a then-unknown assailant and a then un-masked Comedian was almost laughable in its precise execution. It didn't feel like a brutal murder--it was too Crouching Tiger.

And this is perhaps microcosmic (real word?) of my feelings about the movie more generally. It was too shiney, too polished. Polished grit rather than a real world that had been worn down to grittiness. I also found the nod to 300 during that fight scene to be gratuitous, but since my wife didn't even notice it, that may have just been me.

Other things:

I loved the additions that were made, particularly the opening credits. They showed a thorough understanding of the world of Watchmen and told a lot of backstory with great economy. I think a little more creativity on Snyder's part could have shaved another twenty minutes off the film. Do we really need every detail of Dr. Manhattan's history? Is there some reason we establish his relationship with Jane after finding out she has cancer? Other than a fanatical devotion to source material, that is. If we'd chopped out some of that, we could have bypassed the office lunchroom scene, which was the only time where I found Dr. Manhattan's nudity to be distracting (mainly because his penis was in the freaking center of frame).

Speaking of nudity, the sex scene was a bit ungainly, and I gotta be honest, Malin Aeckerman is less attractive to me now that I've seen her without a pushup bra. Which is not to say that she isn't still hot... it's just... I dunno, leave something to the imagination ladies. And I maintain that she was miscast as a 40-year-old. Not quite so badly as Ozymandias, who was miscast in many many ways and whose character committed one of my pet peeves: being ambiguously European. And for the record, the nipples on his costume were distracting. Abby and I talked about who might have been better. She suggested Brad Pitt, and while we both agree that he could have done a better job in the role, his presence would have been, not to overuse a word, distracting. But seriously, when you're looking for a blond paragon of male beauty, accept no substitute.

I found the disclaimers at the end somewhat humorous. None of the people accepted money to endorse a tobacco product. Good to know. I s'pose. Also, apparently the events depicted in this movie are fictional, and any resemblance to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental, despite the fact that one of the pivotal roles is Richard effing Nixon. Who, I'm told, was a real person.

Of course, Snyder disguised his Richard Nixon behind a comically large nose.

Le sigh.

So, overall, it was good. Not stellar, but good. Deliberately crafted, even if I disagree with some of the deliberations, and it is quite interesting, which has some value.

]{p

Putting the Twit in... Nevermind

One of my favorite writers is now following me on Twitter. 'Sright, a man whose writing I follow pathologically is not a full third of my Twitter audience. I feel immense pressure to not screw things up now.

It's like that dream where you're naked and doing surgery you haven't studied for. You know the one.

]{p

Saturday, March 14, 2009

From the Lou, and I'm Proud... erm, Deperessed

Awesome. We're #2, baby!

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Walter Sounds Off for God

Walter has posted his response to a post of mine in which I off-handedly mocked Creationism. I don't think my post was the--ahem--sole genesis of Walter's, but I imagine it contributed somewhat, and perhaps prompted him to go ahead and publish some things that had been lurking 'neath the surface. Now I will respond (in the spirit of discussion, not fighting... just so we're all clear).

So, a few things.

@Walter:

As I noted in the comments to my post, the purpose of my post was not to say that science automatically negates God and that evolution is the chief evidence of this. I only brought up the Creation/Evolution debate at all to give some sort of context to what was already an obtusely philosophical point, namely that "life" is more compliant with the second law of thermodynamics than inanimate objects are, and that I found that to be equal parts terrifying and ironic.

To elucidate more broadly, people often falsely equate "life" with "order" and assume that life therefore disagrees with the principle of entropy, even though the laws of thermodynamics are about dispersion of energy, not "order" in any sense that we conceive it.

And you're right in your broader points, too. Science cannot prove or disprove God. Science and God are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I agree.

But to expand the discussion, here's the thing: God and science have a nasty habit of stepping on each other's toes. There's no reason they can't coexist peacefully, and yet that never quite seem to do so, and an awful lot of this animousity stems from the God side of the debate. Progressive places like... um, Kansas... decide that faith can replace science even in the classroom. The scientific community takes offense and lashes back.

Part of the reason is that religion and science tend to eliminate the fundamental need for each other. Even though they have broad and disparate applications in modern life, on a fundamental level, both seek to answer the following questions:

  • Where do we come from?
  • Why are we here?
  • What should be being doing while we're here?
  • How does this help me get laid?
Okay, that last one is speculation on my part. But still, you see what I'm getting at. Religion used to be more important because it was the only explanation for difficult questions. Now that we have scientific explanations, religion gets all in science's face and threatens to beat up its family.

And let's not pretend that science hasn't been arrogantly dismissive at times as well. Neither party is completely innocent.

Here's another side though. God and science have difficulty coinciding in the minds of people because they represent fundamentally different approaches to understanding the world. Science is the pursuit of knowledge. To be scientific is to keep asking questions. To have faith is to stop asking questions.

That said, I think you and I are in agreement that the opening chapters of Genesis were never intended to be read as a literal interpretation of the way things came about.

]{p

Friday, March 13, 2009

No, I Don't Have Crabs, Why Do You Ask?

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while:

Onion-N-N: Giant Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat to Humankind

Indeed,

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You Want Me to do What with my Whom?

From Slate's Explainer: Global Motherf*ckers which discusses how some variation on "have maternal incest" is an insult in nearly every culture.

Here's an amusing excerpt:

The first known print appearance of the English phrase—as the adjectival intensifier motherfucking—dates to a legal document from 1889. In a case before the Texas Court of Appeals, it was reported that the defendant had been referred to by another man as "that God damned mother-fcking, bastardly son-of-a-bitch!" The phrase was considered so vile in late 19th-century America that, in another Texas court case, it was argued that a man who had been called a "mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch" by a person he later shot "could not be found guilty of a higher offense than manslaughter,"...

And that's saying something for a state judiciary that, to this days, thrives on the death penalty. As a side note, here's another fun quotation from that article: "If the streets were paved with pricks, your mother would walk on her ass". This, apparently, is pretty common invective in Italian.

Have a good weekend. Also, try to do something nice for your mother.

]{p

Math Puzzler Answer

Abby was the closest, but nobody got it exactly (that is to say, none of my twelve readers, of which three responded).

The original post is here. In case you missed it. Abby noted that in the following line:

a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2

...both sides are actually zero. This is not necessarily problematic, but this case, it's setting us up for the real mistake, which shows up in the line:

(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)

Since a and b are equal, (a - b) is zero. So here we're dividing both sides by zero, at which point all bets are effectively off. This doesn't throw up any red flags while you work the problem because all our zeros are disguised as polynomials in terms of a and b. In essence, we're used to assuming that x/x is always equal to 1, but that doesn't work when x is zero.

Thanks for playing.

]{p

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Do I Understand Any of This?

One of the arguments for Creationism is that "life" is contrary to the second law of thermodynamics: that energy tends towards maximum randomness or entropy.  I read something recently that pointed out that living things are, in fact, far more efficient than non-living things when it comes to randomly dispersing energy, so the second law of thermodynamics is actually an argument against Creationism, assuming you see the "purpose," if you will, of the universe as dispersing as much energy at random until it's all spent--a goal that is certainly in line with, amongst other things, the Big Bang Theory.


The caveat to all of this is that, while we get another point against the Creationists (yippee), it also means that every second we're here living hastens the universe towards its demise.

So, all I'm saying is that I'm suddenly less concerned about my carbon footprint.

]{p

Wait, What? Math Puzzler

Found this on a friend's Facebook page and felt obliged to share. Let's assume that we have two numbers a and b that are equal. Consider the following argument:

a = b

By multiplying both sides by a, we get:

a^2 = ab

Then we subtract b^2 from both sides to get:

a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2

On the left side we have a difference of squares, on the right we can factor out a b, which gives us:

(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)

Now there's (b - a) on both sides, so we can divide that out, leaving us with:

a + b = b

Subtracting b from both sides, we arrive at:

a = 0

Therefore, if any two numbers are equal, they must both necessarily be zero.

???

Actually, I did that wrong. Since a and b are equal, we can substitute a for b and get:

2b = b

Then we divide both sides by b and are left with:

2 = 1

Wait... what?

There's a subtle flaw in my logic above. Can you find it?

]{p

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

MSA SOS ASAP!

So, the Missouri Scholar's Academy is getting cut.  For the uninformed, it's a three-week program that takes place on the Mizzou Campus for 330 of the best high school students every year.  Students can only go during the summer between their sophomore and junior years, and most high schools can only send one student.


I was not eligible to attend, due in no small part to the fact that I lived in Texas that summer, but I know several people who did: my sister, my wife, and my best friend, among others.  They all swear that it was the most wonderfully life-changing three weeks of their lives.  In fact, my sister was so enamoured with it that she quit high school to start college a year early.

And now it's (at least temporarily) kaput, the latest victim of state budget cuts.  Damned depression (I've decided to stop calling it a recession, fyi... it just doesn't drive the emminence of it home).

This is sad, because regardless of your political beliefs, this is a government program that actually does some good, plus it's education, and what's bad about education?  If you've a mind, give the state rep hell.  There's contact info on the MSA home page.

Hat tip: Abby.

]{p

Surely There's a "Big/Black" Joke I'm Missing Here

So I just got through the Big's and am on my way to the Black's. So far:

  • Stone Temple Pilots - Big Bang Baby (always fun)
  • Nirvana - Big Cheese (obscure)
  • Nine Inch Nails - The Big Come Down (made for a fun transition into...)
  • Jonathan Coulton - Big Dick Farts a Polka (best title yet)
  • Our Lady Peace - Big Dumb Rocket (big dumb song, really)
  • Stone Temple Pilots - Big Empty
  • Sting - Big Lie Small World (which is in tens... or fives, depending on how you count it)
  • Nirvana - Big Long Now (obscure, possibly about a penis)
  • Nine Inch Nails - Big Man with a Gun (less obscure, definitely about a penis)
  • Foo Fighters - Big Me (The Fresh Fighters! Also, breaking up the STP, Nirvana, NIN loop)
  • Natalie Imbruglia - Big Mistake (surprisingly good for vapid Auzzie-pop)
  • Harry McClintock - Big Rock Candy Mountain (from O Brother, Where Art Thou!)
  • Billy Joel - Big Shot (used to be)
  • Bjork - Big Time Sensuality (Bjork? You must be bjoking!)
  • Counting Crows - Big Yellow Taxi (not-great interp of a classic Joni Mitchell song that I, clearly, don't have)
  • and finally Weird Al Yankovic's The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.
Then a four songs that start with "Bitch", three of which are from Ben Folds. Issues much? And then a few Bittersweet's from Fuel, Moxy Fruvous, and REM. Next up: Black from Pearl Jam, Three Dog Night's Black and White and Black Beach from the Paranoia Agent soundtrack, which... talk about obscure... even more so than Black Boys from Hair, Kid Rock's Black Chick, White Guy, Zepp's Black Dog, and the ubiquitous 90's staple Black Hole Sun.

AFter that, KT Tunstall with Black Horse & The Cherry Tree, Jacko's Black or White, Radiohead's Black Star and then Thom Yorke's Black Swan, Beck's Black Tambourine will then finish off a suite of awesome that will inevitably be let down by Lenny Kravitz's Black Velveteen (I assume, I haven't actually heard it yet) but brought right back with The Doobie Brothers' Black Water and The Beatles Blackbird (followed by a Blackbird/Yesterday medley from the Love soundtrack). Then Porcupine Tree's Blackest Eyes, Blackhole from Beck and Muse will finish off the set with Blackout.

After that's an assortment with a few bleed's, blind's, and blood's, but no more sizeable stretches until Blue, which won't likely be for a while.

Ah, fun.

]{p

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

...Twitter...

I haven't officially griped about Daylight Saving's Time, but it wasn't all that torturous this year, so I don't feel like it.

Pretend like I did.

Anywho, this may be an awful mistake, but I signed up for Twitter, hence the appearance of the feed on the left of the screen (for those of you who haven't upgraded to RSS feeds yet).

Anyway, Rocketboom did a bit on it (which I would link to directly, but their site seems to be behaving badly) noting that it's the one technology that's actually rivaling Google in terms of useful searches. Notably, Twitter search results update in seconds, whereas content can take hours to hit Google. Which is not to say that it could possibly replace Google, but it can capture a real-live information snapshot of what's going on right now. For example, if you want to know, say, how long the lines are at Six Flags, you can find that on Twitter, not so much on Google.

I've resisted Twitter in the past, mostly because I like to elucidate at length, which you just can't do in 140 characters. But I figure, what the hell? It's not like it's going to actually get in the way of anything--it takes all of a minute a day to put up a few updates. If it cuts into anything, it'll be blogging time.

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Brother, Can You Paradigm?

Q2 is certainly giving some love to we Wii owners... okay, that was an awkward phrasing.


Third party titles, many of them distributed by Sega, are finally making their way down the pipe, which is good, since Christmas was sparse.  The much-anticipated MadWorld ships today--a couple zombie shooters and the latest Tenchu title came out recently, and June will bring us Ghostbusters and The Conduit, which everyone and his grandmother has been itching for since last summer.

More fantastical titles including Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Arc Rise: Fantasia, and Little King's Story are coming out from April to June.  Nintendo's also doling out the first-party love with Punch-Out in May and Wii Sports Resort out sometime probably in June.  The latter will include the MotionPlus peripheral which is supposed to make the gesture system a bit more user-friendly.  No surprises here, but it's good to see that major game developers are coming around to the fact that the novelty is not going to wear off, and the Wii is going to continue to outsell the PS3 and the 360, so you might as well make a few games for it.

The key to all this is that we've hit diminishing returns on gaming realism.  The PS3 costs twice what a PS2 did.  Are the games twice as good?  Are the games even twice as good-looking?  OF course not, and furthermore it turns out that realism is, in fact, over-rated a) because video games are escapist entertainment and b) because reality is pretty damned ugly.  Cue games like MadWorld, which are non-realistic but uber-stylized and gamers are totally fine with that.  The rampant success of Halo should have demonstrated all of this already, but I guess we're a bit slow here.

Hopefully, this represents a paradigm shift away from games-as-art or games-as-cinema or games-as-war-simulators and back to games-as-games.  Most of the hardcore games out there remind me a lot of television in that they are populated by characters and environments whose sole purpose seems to be looking/acting tough/cool.  But the truly stand-out games have not been "cool".  They've been snarky and they've been well-written, and many have taken common gameplay mechanics and added an innovative twist.  Portal took the first-person shooter formula and tweaked it.  Super Mario Galaxy was a great platformer that played with gravity.  Grand Theft Auto 4... well, I don't actually know how that one fits, but pretend that I said something clever and profound.  Hell, even Call of Duty 4 had the decency to make a military shooter that didn't take place during World War II--that counts as innovation these days.

It's just that every now and then we have to forget the technical accomplishments and focus on making the games fun again.  After the 64 came out and everything became 3D, it took us a while to remember that just because it's in 3D doesn't mean it's more fun.  Sonic the Hedgehog fans would, I think, agree.

I would even argue that if there was a way to quantify the "goodness" of a console in its own time and then compare scores, the Super Nintendo would come out on top.  It dominated its generation (though not as completely as its 8-bit predecessor had) and really upped the ante over its antecedents.  The simple formulae of Zelda, Metroid, Mario, and Mega Man were expanded--making them richer without changing the gameplay or basic control scheme.  Some of the best games ever made were produced for that console, and of older systems it has probably aged the most gracefully.  8-bit titles like the original Legend of Zelda are still fun, but they're ugly.  Damned ugly.  Final Fantasy VII was ground-breaking, but look at it now.  Look at how shabby and blocky the characters appear while you're running around the map.

I digress.  It's give and take.  Switch to 3D, and then pull back and try to make the games fun again.  Add voice-acting and then realize that you have to make the voice-acting good (Final Fantasy X, anyone?).  Add complex plots and dialogue and then realize that you have to hire real writers to craft that stuff.  Add gestures and then make them not gimmicky (Marvel Ultimate Alliance, anyone?)  Same goes for the hyper-realism we've been getting from Rock Star and EA.  After a while you have to acknowledge "this isn't adding anything anymore".

Now if only someone could put out a good flight sim.

]{p

Monday, March 9, 2009

Lose Ben Stein's Money

Ben Stein was on Charles Osgood's Sunday Morning today, and he did a little segment in which he "put on his economist hat" and explained how to deal with the recession (I searched for a clip on the tubez, but no luck). His argument was that the downturn in the economy had to do with the supply and velocity of money, that Ben Bernake of the Federal Reserve was doing a great job of expanding the money supply, but that money wasn't being spent because of a decline in consumer confidence. Stein claimed that the Obama administration was scaring people into saving too much money and that if all the higher-ups would get together and say that the recession would be over in twelve months, then it would be.

This bothers me, because Stein is no idiot, but between his recent rhetoric on this and his laughable intelligent-design doc Expelled, he's not scoring any intellect points and shedding most of what he gained (along with moxy-points) during his stint on Win Ben Stein's Money.

Before I delve into this, I will throw out the caveat that I have an economic degree and that I regularly read up on economics. I'd say my understanding is better than most, but still far from perfect, so keep that in mind. Now, Stein.


Stein says: The money supply and money velocity are what determine the health of the economy.

The reality: sort of. Money velocity is definitely important, but money supply has more to do directly with inflation. When the Fed expands or contracts the money supply, it does so to affect the interest rate. It's the change in interest rate that incites people to save/spend, so the money supply can contribute to the health of the economy, but only insomuch as it indirectly affects velocity. The difference now is that we've hit a zero lower-bound. Ideally the Fed would continue to expand the money supply to reduce the interest rate and make people spend more, but the interest rate has bottomed out, so monetary policy is no longer an option. Further increases in the money supply will do nothing but de-value the dollar.

Stein says: money velocity is on hold because people are afraid to spend.

The reality: that's really one part of a much larger situation. We can measure velocity in spending, but Stein is working from the assumption that it's only consumers that spend, and that's the big flaw in his logic. Spending is done by consumers, by corporations, and by the government, and the truth of the matter is that spending is down in all three sectors. State governments are having to drop programs and services because of limited tax revenues. As for businesses and individuals, there's the consumer confidence issue, but there's also the credit crunch issue coming into play.

You might have heard about all those banks that went insolvent recently. This makes it harder for people and businesses to get loans. Businesses, particularly large ones, require large amounts of credit to operate. When the credit market dries up, as it has, those businesses can't do business any longer, and as a result, Circuit City has to close its doors. Consumers make large purchases on credit, particularly purchases of vehicles and homes. Small wonder then that after the credit market collapsed, the home and auto sectors were hit.

Stein says: the economy is actually in better shape than we imagine with 92% of Americans employed.

The reality: any economist worth his salt will tell you that 8% unemployment is, in fact, high. It's also worth noting that unemployment rates don't count people who aren't looking for work. So there are a number of formerly two-income households in which one of bread-winners is now a full-time homemaker. If there were jobs available, they'd be employed, but since they aren't actively seeking, they don't count towards the total. So, there's that.

Also, there are more economic indicators than just the unemployment rate, and they all point South. Forecasters predict that unemployment rate will continue to rise, orders for new manufactured goods continue to sink. Single-digit unemployment does not a healthy economy make.

Stein says: if people were inspired to shop confidently, the recession would end.

The reality: not "no", but "uh-uh", as my mother would say. If consumer spending were to increase dramatically and remain increased, then that would help businesses to sell more which would allow them to hire more people which would in turn increase tax revenues and that could, theoretically, pull the economy back up. In the same way, if a dragonfly flew straight up, it could theoretically fly into the sun. Stein's understanding of the problem is too narrow and his prescription too optimistic and, well, Republican.

The way to fix this is to increase spending, and the only spending the government has any control over is its own. It could aid consumer and corporate spending by helping make the banks more solvent as well. But all in all, money has to be spent, and Stein's approach (which matches the GOP's outlook more generally) is that the best way to do this is to tell people to spend money. Or worse, a number of Republicans are in favor of balancing the budget right now. Apparently, their history textbooks' coverage of the Hoover administration is limited to his eponymous dam.

Hoover taught us that doing nothing is, in fact, a bad idea. And Japan has taught us that doing not enough is, in fact, almost as bad.

And none of this really addresses the bigger issue: that our (and by our I don't necessarily mean "the American") economy is built on imaginary money. This I have found (and continue to find) deeply disturbing. The ultimate cause of these collapses is that banks had hedged their bets with assets that turned out to be worthless. Let me rephrase that, banks were doing business, thinking everything was fine because they had all these little pieces of paper supposedly worth hundreds of dollars apiece, and they turned out to be worth tens of dollars apiece. But because nothing small happens in this country, it aggregated, and something like tens of trillions of dollars just, sort of, stopped being there so much, at all.

It's like we built a house of cards, bragged about its robustness on the grounds that we were able to build it up really damned high, and then stood in stupid astonishment when it toppled over.

And this is where I segue awkwardly into a broader point that I've noticed. Smart people, qualified people, thoughtful, forward-looking people, these are not the people that actually make the important decisions. Decisions are made by aggressive people, by ambitious people, by ill-informed people that have out-mud-slung their opponents and managed to not fuck things up so badly that they've gotten the boot (which apparently has to be pretty bad, e.g., Mario Barry). But more than that, there are plenty of smart people who are so indoctrinated that they will stand firm on their beliefs in the face of overwhelming evidence because, well, hell if I know why.

Ben Stein is a great example. He's not a dumb man, but you wouldn't know it to hear his out-gassings of late. Of course, there are plenty of educated people who are convinced that God created man on the sixth day, as told in Genesis 1 (despite the explicit contradiction with science!!!!!--also, if that statement offends your Christianity, pretend I was talking about Islam or something). I've known many, many otherwise rational and intelligent people who would switch into automatic-irrational-defensive mode the second you offer any kind of evidence there might be something less-than-perfect with their religion.

Or the whole Reaganomics thing. All empirical evidence suggests that the supply-side effect of a tax reduction would not be nearly enough to outstrip the losses of tax revenue. But no, somebody heard about it from his dad when he was twelve and can't be convinced otherwise, dammit, because he really wants to believe it. And that's really what it all comes down to. So Stein clings to an outdated and irrelevant model because it lines up neatly with what he wants to believe about the world. And, hell, the model I outlined is simple, but it's not willfully ignorant.

Okay, I'm rambling. More later,
]{p

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of Your Mom

Is it too early for me to be geeking out about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?

Didn't think so.  (note, I started this post a couple weeks ago, so if it feels dated, you won't notice in a month or two when it is dated)

After a Super Bowl teaser, Michael Bay and company have released a full-length trailer which can be found at the official website. This one definitely has a darker tone than the first--which I'm very okay with. I re-watched the first one (having re-watched the 1986 cartoon recently as well) and was reminded of how much fun it is, while at the same time not being a very good film. It's visually stunning, it's chock-full of compelling action and transformation eye-candy. Also, not to dwell on it too much, but Megan Fox. Megan Fox.

Moving on.

On the whole I liked it... it was just... stupid. I can understand, you make some concessions to reality (after all, the story is about giant warring alien robots that disguise themselves as vehicles). But there was a lot, A Lot, A LOT of unnecessary expository silliness. Why does the NSA employ an Australian hott who posits (correctly) that a "signal" that hacked the US military was, in fact, a living, evolving robotic organism. This signal was of course graphically represented as a soundwave that you could zoom into and see little symbols floating around, because 12 years after Hackers the movie-going public still thinks that's how computers work (hey, they did it in Serenity, too, so it's not like Bay's the only culprit here).

This was all, of course, buried amongst plain-old silliness, including the giant-robot-pissing-on-something joke and its close cousin the giant-robot-getting-pissed-on joke. See also: giant robots hiding in and around a subdivision. See also: Giant robots saying "Oops, my bad". Giant robots using slang and referring somewhat anachronistically to eBay and the World Wide Web... Tangentially, if they learned to speak from the web, how is it that they use complete sentences? I'm just sayin'...  (omfg!)

John Turturro's character was a complete waste of budget--so over-the-top that when he is forced to "strip" we see the funny undershirt, the funny boxer shorts, and the funny socks with suspenders. Sheesh.  As for the robots, none of them really resonated except Optimus Prime and Bumblebee.  Jazz was pretty hollow, which must be why no one cared when he got killed. Starscream somehow managed to fail Megatron "once again" without them ever actually interacting, that way we get the nifty line from the cartoon. Speaking of...

There were about five too many homages to the old cartoon. Having Prime say "One shall stand, one shall fall", that was pretty subtle. Sam saying that there was "more than meets the eye" to his love interest. Cheesey, but fine, we get it. Bumblebee beats up a little yellow Volkswagon.  Come on.

So, what I'm getting at is that I sincerely hope the second film focuses more on robots fighting with other robots and blowing shit up between car chases and less on half-assed answers to questions we didn't ask. A little Wikipedia-style research (seriously, what did we do back in the day?) has brought me some information to "Squee" over. Overall, there will be around 40 robots (compared with the first movie's 11). Newcomers will include fan-fav's Arcee and Soundwave (little dude from the first film was Soundwave-esque, but was actually billed as "Frenzy"). And the bad guys?

Bay has said that Megatron isn't being resurrected for this film, and I haven't heard anything about a Galvetron appearance. Speculation arose from clues in the title, because there is a character in the canon named "The Fallen", but there's also a "Revenge", and both are pretty serious villains. There was also early talk of Devastator being the main baddie, and the trailer supports this, because Devastator is huge and at the end of both the TV and film spots we see Optimus Prime dangling like a charm bracelet from a massive killer machine.


So, that's fun.

Although, this will involve a little ret-conning (so soon?) on Bay's part, since he re-christened Brawl as "Devastator" and subsequently killed him in the first film because he liked the name better. The first film also saw the demise of Bonecrusher, who is part of the Devastator composite and he's been replaced in some fashion. And this is indicative of (here's where I segue neatly into) my worries about Bay's films in general and T:RotF in particular.

First, if you're going to deviate from canon, have a reason for it.  It doesn't have to be a great reason, but it needs to be a reason.  Bumblebee stopped being a VW classic beetle and instead became a Camaro.  Why?  Because a Camaro is much cooler than a beetle.  I'm 100% okay with that rationale.  The whole Brawl-becomes-Devastator bit?  Bad choice.  Way to think forward.  The fact that the robots don't have pre-made forms so much as they ape the body of something around them--awesome, makes perfect sense.  The whole All-Spark McGuffin that brought them all to Earth?  Kinda stupid, especially since it's so obviously derived from the canonical version, in which the Transformers came to Earth seeking out "engeron cubes" that they used for power and would need to continue their war for control of Cybertron.  Was the search for energy not compelling enough?  I suppose the All-Spark wasn't a bad idea, per se, it was just handled so ham-fistedly.

So then there's a question of style.  Michael Bay has two main strong suits: action and vehicles.  His background includes a lot of car commercials, so it should come as no surprise that he excels at making cars look cool.  He takes it one or two steps too far, however, as there are multiple instances in the first film where it stops being a movie and transforms, ahem, into a car commercial.  And I'm not even criticizing the fact that the film is a pro-GM propaganda piece: I understand exactly how that sort of thing comes about and I'm willing to be okay with it.  What I have a problem with is that several sequences were shot exactly like car commercials!

I mean, if you were watching it on cable, you would think it had cut to a commercial, and then you would realize that, no, this is still the movie.  When Bumblebee drops the '78 Camaro look and becomes a sleek new Camaro-type-thing, we get the full car-ad treatment, down to the Kill Bill music.  Using Chevrolet's cars is one thing.  They donated a lot of vehicles, so it's fine that show them off a little, but there's a difference between showing them off and sucking them off.

And the same goes for the U.S. military.

I understand that they have to be shown in a favorable light or they won't let you film their toys.  I understand that Bay has worked for years to establish relationships that enable him to film cool new military vehicles before anyone else.  I understand that it took a great deal of sweet-talking on his part for the military to let him portray their wares as "villains".  But I don't think making the movie feel like Frank Capra's Why We Fight makes it any richer or more meaningful.

Perhaps that's just me.

There is one tidbit of news I've found that makes me insanely nervous about the second installment.  Apparently a big portion of the movie takes place in Egypt, where the transformer mythos will be tied in to existing hieroglyphics.

...sigh...

No, I'm sure it seemed like a really cool idea when it was passed around the writers-room.  But I've seen this sort of thing done before, both well (a la Stargate) and badly (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Paycheck comes readily to mind in the aliens-meet-ancient-ruins genre, but if that doesn't work for you, check out Alien vs. Predator).  But the point is that it's been done before.  And if Bay treats it as cunningly as he did the All-Spark, then I think we can expect a few groans when it comes plot-revelation time.

We'll see in June.

Random Links

From Alex Payne, Rules for Computing Happiness.


A bizarre offshoot of the LOL: Picture is Unrelated.

And a great timewaster care of the Time: KenKen.

'Tis a strange, strange world we live in.  Enjoy.

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

My Head... It's... With the Hurting... Slightly

So last night was our house-warming party, which we conveniently scheduled to occur when many of our friends were out of town. Particularly Abby's friends. Actually, half the people Abby invited got called out of town at the last minute.

Regardless, it was small, but still fun. I managed to get completely shit-faced off beer. Beer. I can't think of the last time that's happened. And I'm moving pretty slow this morning thanks to your-friend-and-mine the hangover. But it's not too bad, so I'll get over it.

We over-prepared. Actually, Abby over-prepared; she did the lion's share of the planning work, and it's always better to have too much food rather than not enough, but something tells me I'll be taking 7-layer dip in my lunch to work for a week and a half.

It is bitterly, bitterly cold out today. Thank god we brought in some extra firewood a few days ago, because otherwise I'd have to schlep out to the carport to grab more. That also means this post is going to be short, because the computer is in the basement and the basement is roughly the same temperature as the ground outside. Which is, to say, cold.

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